Why aren't you a Trump supporter?

I took the same Oath and took it seriously

I don’t watch or listen to advertising

EVEN FUCKING MIKE PENCE understands that

Are miracles real or do they just have natural explanations?

I don’t believe that Saudi Arabia and Russia “will vedoop bedeep uhhhh”

authoritarians can get down on the floor and bite my ass, yesterday

I know the difference between Sioux City and Sioux Falls and even Sioux Center

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I respect other cultures and don’t respect those who don’t

A real man doesn’t grab women by the p***y

It’s uncool to lurk around teenage girls’ dressing rooms

How do you have intercourse with a girl who can remember you for a long time?

I have complete contempt for fraudsters, and even less for repeat ones

I have a reading level above third grade

I have complete contempt for traitorism

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I can count

When a reporter declines to join me in the rooftops fantasy I don’t go on stage and gyrate to mock his congenital disability

I don’t buy bullshit

What do you think about Matt Gatz as an attorney general?

I’ve never tried to pretend the word would means wouldn’t

I don’t believe Nazis, Klan klowns and white supremacists chanting “Jews will not replace us” comprise “very fine people”

Let us count the ways. Captain Obvious says:

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It’s uncool to set up soft porn pics with your own preteen daughter

I don’t hide in my hotel room while everybody else keeps the appointed time and place because my hair might get wet

When I go Greenland shopping and Denmark says no I don’t melt down like a fucking WIMP

What movies and TV shows portray realistic beauty standards?

I didn’t get out of military service with fucking “bone spurs” that I paid a doctor to write

I understand that when you lose an election you step the fuck aside and take it like a man rather than invade the Capitol while your loss is being made official just because you’re a fucking snowflake WIMP

I don’t respect shameless hucksters who try to sell a vitamin where you have to mail in your pee

Why is it important for Hollywood celebrities to come out against Trump?

I have an acute aversion to scumbags

Fuck that piece of orange shit, fuck his idiocracy, fuck his sexism, fuck his racism, fuck his religionism, fuck his divisionism, fuck his lying, fuck his orange face paint, fuck his worship of Cult of Ignorance, fuck his Cult, fuck his jingoistic horseshit, fuck his manuipulations, fuck his toddler-age WIMPism, fuck his fucked-up values of ME ME ME and did I mention ME, and fuck him personally with a giant razor sharp dildo that’s been preheated to 204.7° F and built to the dimensions of the Washington Monument. Slowly.

I know that if I or anyone I know commits a crime we’ll go to the clink

Why is Reddit blocked by the Indonesian government?

I understand that you can’t just fucking nuke a hurricane

I know who the president of Turkey really is

I know what Nikki Haley’s authority with the National Guard is

Why do people still think Michael Jackson was guilty?

I know there’s no such thing as invisible planes

I understand geography enough to know that Belgium is not a “beautiful city”, that Paris is not in fucking Germany, that India does share a border with China, that that border is peppered with Bhutan and Nepal, not “Button” and “Nipple”, that time zones exist, that “shithole countries” do not, that “England” and “the UK” are not the same thing, that you cannot build a wall in Colorado to keep out New Mexico, and that the Bronx is not and has never been “a very wonderful place in fucking Germany”

I have complete contempt for intentional stupidity

Patti LuPone stuns Broadway as The Apologizer - AV Club

I understand historical events enough to know there were no airports in the eighteenth century, that Canada didn’t burn the White House half a century before it existed and that World War Two already happened

I don’t buy made-up stories of “thousands and thousands of people dancing on rooftops”

Those are a few reasons off the top of my head. How ’bout you?

I can read

I don’t respect a sleazeball who lies about his height just so he can lie about his weight

I know the difference between “give me your tired, your poor” and “they’re poisoning our blood”

I don’t believe the way to respond to a hurricane is to call a press conference to describe it as “wet from the standpoint of water”, to distribute Play Doh, or to stand at a podium throwing rolls of paper towels as if they were bottles of ketchup

I don’t believe there is a fucking “president of the Virgin Islands”

I have no sicko desire to control women or have a bizarro hangup with “blood”

I don’t hold serial bankrupters in high regard

I actually pay taxes

I have complete contempt for fakery

I don’t pretend not to know who David Dooky is just because he can deliver votes

I see through liars

I respect women and don’t respect those who don’t

I know that he didn’t run against “Obamna”

If someone works for me, I actually pay them

I understand how hurricane paths work

I don’t cotton to rapists

I know that sounds DO NOT cause cancer.

I know the difference between “George Bush” and “Jeb Bush”

I don’t run and hide from a debate like a fucking WIMP just becuase some moderator asked pointed questions

I don’t believe in asking the people of Iowa “how stupid are the people of Iowa”

I don’t call Tim Cook “Tim Apple” and if I do I don’t deny what’s right there on the videotape because I’m too much of a fucking WIMP to handle Reality

I understand that you can’t inject bleach or light